2020 was one hell of a ride!
I’m pretty sure I might have said that at the start of 2020 about 2019. 2020 was the year that everyone was waiting for but we never really expected to be hit by a pandemic.
Looking back at my 2020, I think it’s a pretty interesting year for me mentally. My company went through a joint-venture and I sort of got thrown into a new environment. I welcomed the change though, as I was feeling a little stagnant in the previous company. It was a good change I felt, for both companies and the employees.
Hence, work wise I felt like I got a new start. Although it was hard to adapt to the company at first because right after my first month, we started Circuit Breaker and WFH. I didn’t really get a chance to interact with my new colleagues but it got better once we started our once a week back to office arrangements. And it will only get better in 2021. Tons of challenges awaits me this year and I’m ready to take them on!
In late 2019, my mum started getting admitted to the hospital for various health issues. One is her knee joints procedures which was planned. The other was her gall bladder issue which was a surprise to all of us. Doesn’t help when my dad got admitted for the exact same issue. I mean what are the odds? And it’s not like the two of them have the same diet or anything.
Then came Oct/Nov period where my mum got diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer. Surgery was scheduled Jan 2020 and it went well. And we thought ok, battle over.
Fast forward to April 2020, Circuit Breaker just started. She complained about back pain. We thought it’s an old age issue. Then one day it got so bad that she can’t even stand. We called an ambulance and sent her to the hospital. They send her back without admitting her as they can’t find out the reason primarily and she was ok after medication. The next day, she got into severe pain again and we sent her to the hospital ourselves this time. Scans were done and all.
The cancer had spread, to her bones and livers. There’s also mild hairline cracks in her bones. Which explains the bad back pain she experienced. It was devastating news to the whole family. Apparently when your cancer cells starts spreading, it’s automatically Stage 4. It was also my birthday when she got admitted for all the scans and test. I initially bought us a cake cause my mum birthday was just 5 days after mine. But I had to eat it all alone…
Long story short, we were sad. Mum was on the verge of giving up. She got my brothers to settle her CPF nominations. Put all her money into a joint savings account with my brother so he can manage it incase anything happened. She also gave me all her jewelry. Can you imagine my feelings at that point? I was trying so hard not to cry in front of her. It was a very emotional period for my family. I even saw my brother crying secretly in his room.
The doctor started my mum on chemotherapy almost immediately pushing her case as urgent. And it begins, the weekly hospital visits etc. It been 8 months, and I’m glad to report that my mum’s recent CT scans states that her condition is under control and that the cancer cells did not spread further.
My brother’s cat also fell sick and it was heart wrenching to see the little furry thing in pain. Thankfully she recovered well though she have to be on long term medication. We went through a month of hand feeding and it was so worth it to see her start eating by herself again.
I was hesitant to write about this segment of my life. To be honest, I will say I’m just a literal failure in the department of love. I tried. I did. I really did.
But I think the top priority for me now is to learn to love myself a little bit more each day.
I guess I can say that in 2020, I fell in love only to fell out of it again. When I was actually planning to avoid guys altogether in 2020… I guess the universe just wants me to experience one more heartbreak. Though I must say that this person I’ve met in 2020 has taught me many things too. At the very least he treated me the alot better than the guys I’ve met before. LOL. I guess I just have bad luck in love.
This might be a topic that some of you might be skeptical about. But I guess with the rollercoaster like situations that I’ve been through, I started to look at things differently.
I found my Tarot cards once more. And it provided me with the guidance and assurance that I needed. I’ve also realised that I’ve been avoiding many things that I’ve seen and heard.
I started Mori.Oracle and providing my cartomancy services. It’s really fulfilling to be able to help others in need, in sending them the guidance they need through the use of Tarot and Oracle cards. It’s like I found part of my soul purpose in life. I mean that really explains why I’m always the listener around people, and also my personality of being an INFP.
I’m mainly operating it on Instagram for now at @mori.oracle but I’m planning to write more Tarot and new age topics on the blog. But first, I need to work on a mini revamp of my blog layout. I’ve been using this template for years!
I must say that ever since I started on my Spiritual journey, I am definitely more at peace with myself. I sometimes have had very severe mood swings and episodes. And those episodes have toned down a lot since.
Ok, this post is getting a tad too long so let’s conclude!
2020 was one hell of a ride. But it’s also a year of growth.
I’ve also turned 30 and renewed my IC.
30 years on this earth and everyday I’m learning new things. Life is a never-ending learning journey till your death.