Archive | PERSONAL

My Past and Present

Everyone have their secrets.

Don’t deny it, we all have our deepest darkest secret lay deep down in our hearts.

Like how all of us have a past. Good or bad, it’s all a perspective.

I might seem like a happy go lucky person, cheerful and all. Which I’m to a certain extend now.
But of course, I’ve my dark emo side too.

And here I’ve a confession to make.

I was once suicidal.

Well, I actually did not have the guts to go all the way out, always reserving some of that energy when cutting myself.

During that time, I’ll often try to cut myself but the cut is never deep enough. Trying to jump off the window but my brother always pull me back. (It always happened after a quarrel) Thank god I did not try it when I’m home alone. I think 4th floor might cause me to be paralyze rather than death. Popping like 10-20 different kind of pills at one go. I now know that that’s not enough for an over dosage. Trying to drown myself in a pail of water or trying to suffocate myself by strangling etc.

Thinking back, I was just being stupid. Like I could die doing all that.

Then, I moved on to simply inflicting pain on myself. Whenever I’m in a state of uncontrollable emotions, I will knock my head on the wall, pinching myself, bites myself or anything that will allow me to feel pain. It’s like an addiction of pain. And only pain can calm me down.

I think it’s also what become of my high tolerance for pain nowadays.

My point is we have all gone through a certain low point in our lives. Some might be more lucky that they never had the need to think about suicide or what’s not and just cry about spilled ice cream.
But there’s are many who faced problems that lead them to hurting themselves.

I’ve got my fair share of being bullied and bullying others. It’s normal when you get bullied either you continue to get bullied or you stand up and bully others instead to stop people from bullying you. Of course, it’s wrong. And hey I did not keep it to myself, I told my mother who told my teachers and nope, problem not solved ultimately. I got ostracized, a ‘friend’ told me she was friendly with me as she pitied me. Oh thanks, that was really nice.

I was glad that sense somehow made its way to me and I stopped doing all the hurtful things to myself. Yes, the problem is there and I will do no good by hurting myself. It’s not like with every cut I make on myself the problem will slowly go away. Why should I end my life? I will make my life a better one than all those who have a part in the horrible elements of my earlier life. Not that I’m that old but you get my drift.

I’m probably not living a life that many would envy but at least I’m content. I’ve friends who genuinely care about me. I’ve got some recognition in the things that I’m passionate about. I’m a much happier person. Though sadly, my main problem comes from the family. Blood ties you can’t break simply. Occasional outbreak, but I’ve learnt to not make a din. Keeping quiet is a virtue. And it’s also a preventive measure. Although there are still times when things got overboard.

Even when you’re down, don’t let the unhappy things follow you to the next day. A brand new day means a brand new start and we have got to start positive. If we allow negativity from previous day to follow, it will only accumulate more and more. So people, lets do ourselves a favour. Do not care about what people think of you, as long as you are happy, that’s enough.

XOXO,
Joyce.Forensia

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Sentosa with the Cousins*

Times like this are meant to be recorded down and kept as precious memories. It’s only with them, will there be all the unglam and crazy moments. Being in my most natural self, in front of these people whom I loved. XD Can you imagined that we all knew each other through blogging? Blogging brought us together, and us being genuine with each other is what kept us tight.

これは大切の親友です!

<3<3<3

Trying to take a group shot in water!

Yay!

With the girls! Yes, VVeijie is counted as a girl cause he’s my sista.

Lying on the beach.
VVeijie and me swam all the way to the other side. So we literally ran back from the bridge to join in this photo. 大変た!

We kind of had a “ritual” of throwing everyone in the sea. First victim was Yz, followed by Andy and then it was me, KX, Conan and then Jiaqi. And that was me being thrown in the the water. >~< This was caught on film if I’m not wrong.

Typical scene where some looked on when one is being thrown into the sea and the rest walking back up from the sea. LOL.

Another group photo! With everyone in!

You can’t stay in a position like that safe. That makes you the target. Lol. Water is still ok, but when sand is involved. Disastrous.

Me caught on film, nomming away.

And this time is the girls caught on film while being photographed. Love candids as such.

Lastly, another candid of me caught on film while laughing and testing out my water gun in a crab form.

Our day did not end there. We continued all the way till dark, trying out Running Man games. After heading out of Sentosa, dinner at KFC plus a mini surprise for Birthday girl Limei. Then it was finding a spot to settle down for some heart to heart talk. I reach home at around 4 plus 5 in the morning. Tiring but a day well spent with the awesome Cousins*.

Photo Credits to Conan and JingLong.

XOXO,
Joyce.Forensia

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How I spent my 22nd

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Had a simple dinner at Itacho sushi with Sortie on my 22nd. Have always been wanting to try out Itacho sushi since it’s came to Singapore.

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Went to the outlet at Ion and there’s quite a long queue. I queued for about half an hour before getting a seat. I think it’s quite reasonable waiting time for dinner in town?

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I only drink hot green tea when having Japanese cuisine.

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And here’s all that we ordered! Loads of salmon! 😛 I would say the sashimi and sushi at Itacho is fresh and better then the common sushi outlets we have here in Singapore. Pricing is reasonable for quality that they have provided. Though I would say service wise is a little compromised as they are probably really busy. I would definitely go back for it’s Ikura Chawamushi! And the roasted scallop sushi is not bad too!

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With Sortie, been awhile since we last met up!

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Spammed Instaxs! 😛

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Reaching 8 years of friendship with dear Sortie! I’m glad that her secondary school life became much better cause she got a nice classmate like me. 😛 LOL! This one not I say one, just quoting her. 😛

And that’s how I spent my 22nd. Just a simple dinner date with one of my best friend. And also many thanks to all those who wished me on Twitter and Facebook! Many <3s!! XD

XOXO,
Joyce.Forensia.

*All Photos taken by my Iphone for this post! *

 

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Skin Diary: Embracing Your Scars

As the title says, today I’m gonna write about embracing our scars. Or rather acne scars.
After combating acne, we are always happy to see the swell go down, no more pus, no more swollen zits. But now, we are faced with something more stubborn. The red marks left from the acne. And now it’s the battle with the scars. Piling up concealer to cover up, or using products trying to get rid of them. But beware, some of these products actually thinned the skin rather then removing the marks.

What should we do about the scars then?

Embrace them, better scars than acne. Scars takes time to heal and slowly they will fade away as new skin cells grow and we remove the dead skin cells properly. We should not let the scars affect our confidence no matter how irritating they are. I’m more than happy to see the scar there as compared to a bursting zit.

Acne scars are also the evidence that we got rid of those troublesome acne. No need to fret over the swells, thinking of what to use so that they will go off. No need to worry about the zits bursting when you’re out. Scars just stay there doing nothing till it’s time for them to go.

Here’s some tips to say goodbye to the scars/redness asap.

– Exfoliation at least once a week. (For proper removal of dead skin cells)

– Using sunblock at all time. (Do you know that even the light rays emitted from our laptops are harmful?)

– Having ample sleep. (Tried and tested. I observed that redness goes down when I have a good sleep and it gets worse if I did not have enough rest.)

– Embrace your scars. (Don’t let the scars stress you out! Stress is one of the main reasons for skin problems!)

Hope this is useful!

XOXO,

Joyce.Forensia

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21st Bday Shoot – Dark Concept

Here’s my favorite shots from the Dark Concept!

Photography by: http://november-days.blogspot.com/

Make Up by: http://timelessmomentz.blogspot.com/
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“What are you looking at?”

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This is my favorite shot of all! XD

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Hair all over, super messy but the shot turned out damn nice! LOL!

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I’m dangerous.

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“You got a problem?”

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Love the overall feel of this shot. Love my legs! LOL!
Wearing the 6 inches heels really paid off. ><

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I don’t know how to describe this shot, it’s have a lil sad feel though. ><

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My legs look super long and slim here! 😛

 

That’s all! Tell me which shot you love most! Hee!! XD

<3 Forensia~

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